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The Modern Drunkard by Frank Kelly Rich download in pdf, ePub, iPad

Anyone with three or moreAnd for its ringing endorsement

If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.

And for its ringing endorsement of the lifestyle of the functional alcoholic. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool.

Except you get to sleep with these sisters. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink to their mouth. Always toast before doing a shot.

If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least two cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time.